Wait.ing room
Noun
A questioning and trying period in one’s
life which entails a lot of patience before the pain is alleviated.
Synonyms
Nausea, Discomfort, Anger, Sickness, lingering pain, fear
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock...was the sound of what seemed like never
ending time. With my eyes fixated on the clock in front of me, what must have
felt like a whole hour turned out to only be two minutes.
An overbearingly clinical smell, coupled with the dingy lighting
of the surgery made the wait seem even longer, and I began to feel queasy.
This meant that any moment from now, what I could only describe as the ‘now active volcano’ placed between my nose and chin
would inevitably
erupt.
Tightly grasping the sick bowl begrudgingly provided by the receptionist
in one hand, and a ball of squashed blue paper towels in the other; thoughts
began to flood through my mind.
“Is this life? I don’t
think I will have a shred of dignity left after this whole agonising ordeal is
over. Can I really handle this pain? Am I going to have to wait months before
this horrendous sensation subsides?
Whoever named this morning sickness was an absolute clown.
Period!”
This was an all day, all night, 24 hours, 7 days a week sickness,
and no amount ginger, peppermint tea or the inundated concoctions I had been
advised to take actually worked.
After another 5 minutes of staring at the same tiring clock, my
gaze shifted to the emerging shadow of a rather stocky looking woman, who then sat adjacent to me.
Our eyes briefly met and I managed to catch the beginning of her
flashing a smile at me.
However, I speedily unlatched from the glance as returning the
gesture would only use up energy that I did not feel I had.
“I was entitled to act
this way!” I mumbled to myself. No one would expect otherwise if they knew
exactly what I was going through, and besides (as I further tried to validate
my excuse) this is London; where we are notoriously known for being unfriendly.
I had always envisaged that this stage of life would be both an
amazing and exciting time, whilst I could freely indulge in all things fabulous
for my palette. Instead, it felt as though every ounce of energy was rapidly
being sapped out of me.
Any elation initially felt drastically subsided as it was turning
out to be more of a living nightmare, with which I just wanted to be woken up
from.
Question upon question protruded my mind...How was I supposed to
stay positive when something so often associated with joy was overwhelmingly distressing
and painful?
How could some women be so physically well that they didn’t
even know they were pregnant? This must be a test, because I am definitely
being dealt the ‘unfair’ card of life AGAIN!
Before I had the chance to ask myself another question, an annoying knuckle crackling sound abruptly
interrupted me.
Glimpsing over to my right, I saw the same woman who I noticed earlier
now practically hovering over me.
Her preying posture was invading my personal space and I
was now feeling very awkward.
Rapidly trying to avoid any form of conversation from taking
place, I slightly turned my body away from her in the pursuit that she would
stay silent or go away. Conversely, she leaned in towards me; forcing me
to turn my head back in her direction, then she softly whispered "luv...if
there’s
anything I have learnt in life, it’s that it's never as
bad as it seems!"
Judging from my unapproachable disposition, blank faced stare
and clocking on to the fact that I was in no conversing mood; without giving me
the chance to respond, she winked at me whilst returning to her seat.
My first reaction was “how dare she?”
How could this stranger have the audacity to make such a
statement? Who gave her the right to assess me and based upon her perception,
come to the conclusion that what I was suffering was not that bad?
Screaming in my head were the words “What
on earth is wrong with people?” I couldn’t believe that even in sickness, I had to deal with their
never-ending need to comment on my life.
At that point I had a choice; a choice to either continue in
self-wallowing pity (which really wasn't helping my condition), or to take on
board what this complete stranger had just said.
I could embrace this new perspective and start being a little
more positive and optimistic; even though every cell in my body was opposing
this notion.
Reflectively, I remembered that I had previously made the
decision that I would no longer be ruled by how I felt or what people said to
me. I was now 'The Confident Woman’ and right here and now
posed the ultimate test.
Upon leaving the surgery after hearing the doctor
condescendingly say “…these things happen, and there’s nothing much you can
do but ride it out”, it suddenly occurred to me that this woman who I probably
would never meet again, actually spoke the exact words that I needed to hear.
Although everything physical ruled against considering her statement
as reasonable or fair, what did I have to lose by choosing to see things her
way?
Was I going to allow my current state to prevent me from using
this adversity to make me grow and become stronger? Or would I remain close-minded and allow past hurts and experiences to determine
my attitude towards the situation?
Whenever I felt as though I could no longer handle the pain; (as
I must have suffered every known pregnancy symptom), I reminded myself that it
could be a lot worst.
On those dark and dreary days, I would play those words on
repeat in my mind as I ticked yet another day off my calendar. I knew that
although I may not understand why all this was happening, my faith in God’s
strength would be made perfect in my weakness.
The choice to change my mindset and focus on the end result
rather than the problem was one of the best decisions I made for my mental
state and well-being.
It infused the will to persevere no matter how tough it got,
because after all; this was only a temporal matter!
Acting upon this realisation may not make the 'Waiting Room'
experience any quicker, nevertheless, it will give it purpose with which you
are willing to endure till the end because the destination will be worth it.
I resolved to using that statement in situations that arose even
after my pregnancy, because when you think about it; no matter how tough,
challenging or daunting the circumstance is, it's ultimately up to you to chose
to believe that it "ain’t half bad!"
Feel free to watch the accompanying blog below:
We may be going through challenge(s), but we should always remember that 'it could be worse'.
What 'Waiting Room' experience(s) have you had, and how did you get through the wait? -
kindly leave your comments
What 'Waiting Room' experience(s) have you had, and how did you get through the wait? -
kindly leave your comments
