I never really understood why people, particularly in the
Christian circle always used the statement “it is well” when things were
evidently ‘not well’ or had not quite gone to plan. However, I now know that constantly telling myself
that everything is going to be alright and through it all – it is well, is one
of the strongest mindsets that can help pull you through some of life’s tough
challenges.
Nearing the end of February my Mum-in-love (to me: Mum)
passed to glory.
I don’t think anything quite prepares you for the lesson of
having to let go and trust God when nothing seems to make sense.
I can vividly remember the day the doctor asked if my
husband and I could step into a private room to have a “chat”. Before we even
entered the room, I could sense that something was not quite right about her
demeanour and my stomach started to knot, because I thought to myself “why would she need to speak to us in ‘private’
if everything was OK?”
What followed seemed like a bad dream, like it wasn’t really happening and we
would suddenly wake up to a reality contrary to what we were currently being
told.
Trying to process what I had just heard, thoughts began to
flash through my mind. “How can any of this be real?... Surely there is some sort of mistake?...
What is Moe thinking
right now?... Should I turn to look at his face?... Should I hold him?... Hold
on! We’ve prayed about
this situation and we trust God’s word is true and will not fail!... She’s been through worse
in her life and has come through just fine!... How are we going to cope without her?... How can this be
happening to us at a time like this?... Maybe this is just a test of our faith
to see how we will react?”. Question upon question upon question.
Things very quickly went from 0-60 in just a few days and
there was so little time to actually process everything that was unfolding
right before us and those few days proved to be the most challenging any of us
had ever faced.
There were mixed emotions, as we still tried to hold on to
God’s promises that the situation would turn around for the better. There were moments of pure
silence, because none of us knew what else to say or pray. Moments of noise and
conflict because naturally, we were all trying to deal with the situation in
our own individual ways. There were times
when we simply could not eat because our appetites had gone out the window and
nothing tasted good.
I personally no longer felt the drive to do anything, be it
business, taking care of the home, YouTube, blogging, ministry, nothing.
Because my mind was on one thing only and although Mum had said we must carry
on, I could not even bring myself to simply interact with people. Most of the time I just wanted to be left alone and I
did not want to begin to imagine how my husband was feeling.
I don’t think anything can truly prepare one for the passing
of a loved one, but we are pressing on and as the seasons begin to change from
winter to spring, we hope for newness of life as we heal.
It is at times like this that everything is brought into
perspective and just like the constant snow that fell on the week she passed,
we realise just how fragile and precious life is, here today gone tomorrow. So
we must really make the most of every moment we spend with our loved ones and not
take anything for granted.
Kristene DiMarco’s song “It is well” [Click here to listen],
has now come alive and has ministered to us in a way that it never really had
before. Every single word brought about a reassurance of God’s peace and that
His will is best, something we needed to be reminded of at this time.
Through it all, we cannot deny how faithful God has been to
us and we are grateful that He was not silent. When we had specific questions,
He answered them, be it in the form of a text message, a scripture, a word, a
conversation, a hug, even through nature around us, He was speaking and is
continuing to speak.
We are grateful that we got to spend time with her and glean
wisdom from her as she instructed us before her passing; words that we will
always treasure and hold dear to us.
We are grateful that her transition to Heaven was glorious
and we can rest assured
that she is in a better place where there is no more pain or suffering.
We are grateful for the beautiful legacy of resilience,
hard-work and kindness that she has left; attributes that we will strive to
instil into her grandchildren.
We are grateful that this is not good-bye because we know we
will meet again.
As I conclude, though the pain of not being able to see her
anymore still stings, even though we may not fully understand everything, we do
know that life must go on and through it all and with God with us, ‘It is
well’.
Please watch my accompanying video of thanks by clicking the link below:
